My life has been so repetitive for as long as I can remember. I have changed but my a lot of thing have just be repeated. I have been struggling with money for a very long time. It is always the same in the past my dad would get a great job and things would be finally getting stable then my dad would get laid off or fired then we were back in the shitter again. Now its that but with me working at the same time.
My life has changed in some ways because of it but most of it has been negative. I had to drop out of school last year to work and help my dad so that we would not be evicted well we were still evicted. I have moved 4 times in the past year 2 just because of strain on our finances. I still plan to go to college I know what happens if you do not my dad unfortunately would be an example of that. While he is very intelligent and very skilled in his field he would be doing so much better if had a degree but then at the same time I wonder if things would be so different at least now anyway. I mean I hear of people with great education who still are being fired and laid off.
Things may be getting be though I just got my GED and hopefully maybe next semester or next year I can start at a local college. I still regret dropping out but I did not know what to do. I thought me working full time would help but it just delayed things.
I suppose I should not be so negative but optimism only goes so far. I keep trying but it just seems like a vicious cycle that never ends. I wish someone could say something new to me, something profound I know the solutions but getting them just seems like it does not help. I have heard everything but nothing really has helped. Perhaps it would just be better to get out of this. I need to start college and get out there on my own. I want to get my degree and do something.

Other things have been kind of crappy not terrible. I wish I could see my girlfriend more often. She lives about 3 hours away and is going to school.Thats not very far away but when you do not have the means it makes a big difference. She is about to be 18 and our year anniversary was 3 days ago not a lot compared to other but I want to be able to see her more often. She is amazing though its not like a lot of other relationships with people my age we never fight we talk everyday we really trust each other and we have a lot in common. I just want to be able to explore it more and know if things may change I could see things being different if we saw each other everyday but I want to know. I will have to wait for at least 2 years maybe more to know. Its worth the wait I think. I am shocked that I could connect with someone like this so early. I just hear about friends of mine, and family members struggling in this area. I never looked for anything on this level cause I doubted I would find it or at least this soon. I adore her though and I cannot wait to see her. Her birthday is in a week and I am coming up to see her and were going to celebrate that and our anniversary.

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Comment by TheFlyingWelshman on November 14, 2008 at 6:18pm
thank you all I really appreciate these comments it helps quite a bit
Comment by Krista on November 14, 2008 at 8:46am
This caught my attention because it sounds exactly like things I've written before, right down to the long distance gf (although I've never had a drama-free ralationship!). Life is deffinately repetitive. I think more so when you have to struggle financially all your life. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doomed to repeat myself for eternity but then I realize that the fact is, anything is possible, life is what I make it. Hang in there, things are hard for everyone these days. You aren't alone.
Comment by Roxanne on November 14, 2008 at 6:52am
Things are really rough right now with the economy being the way it is. I'm sure that things will get better and you sound like you are ready to quit, but be strong. You've obviously got a good idea about what you want and having that goal is a great thing to hold on to.



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