The past week The Mirror has been circulating a story that ISIS wants to rename the planet Pluto as the “Moon of Mohammed”. Why, pray tell, would one want to not just relegate a planet to moon status, but also name it after a god?
Because, well, I can’t say why the hell these idiots wanted to change its classification to a moon, but as far as the name? Matrixing. Apparently, if you are good at reading Arabic chicken scratch, you can see that the craters and ravines spell out “Allah loves Mohammed”. Deity vs mortal man homo-erotica joking aside, I really just can’t see this whole Allah declaring his love for Mohammed on the surface of Pluto. From what I see of the image below, there’s definitely a lot of imagination going here to make this love declaration even possible.
I don’t know what has me more frustrated with this blatant propaganda laced hijacking of science. The fact they are referencing Mohammed and Allah on a beloved planet, or that ISIS is dropping Pluto down to a moon status out of sheer ignorance? Really, applying a new name to Pluto isn’t really a big deal in my book. The rest of the planets are named after Gods, so what’s a little variety in the origins going to really do? I think it’s the absolute disregard of how awesome of a planet Pluto is. I don’t like these extremists fucking with my sciences.
Leave Pluto alone!
Still,I did try to see what these supposed scientists that ISIS has working for them are seeing. I flipped the moon around a couple different ways to try to make sense of this supposed crater writing pronouncing such huge amounts of love between Allah and Mohammed, but I couldn’t see it.
I saw Babar the elephant.
I saw a two-legged octopus because, you know, shit happens to legs all the time. Maybe he was born with only two legs, or maybe he decided he wasn’t being true to himself by having all eight of his legs.
I don’t know what was wrong with this octopus on Pluto’s surface, I just know he only has two legs now, and it was his choice. So, don’t judge!
But then, after carefully using ISIS own method of scrutiny and rotation, I saw what the real message was that Allah was sending to Mohammed. They needed to simply flip the image vertically to see it.
You can see that the image Allah inscribed on the surface of Pluto is a penis. Pretty obvious with such a large pair of balls hanging there in their unmistakable heart shape.
But there’s more! See how limp Read the rest here at my blog The Bluegrass Skeptic