Monday: I rolled a 5 so I stayed home and packed for the most part, worried most of the day when I learned that a man was supposed to be coming over to spray for bugs because I had to hide Mista Poot and hope management wouldnt be with the man and also he wanted me to empty all of my cupboards out and put the food and shit all on a table or the floor and cover it up with a sheet and I am not going to do that in the middle of what I am already doing, he came and went without a problem.
Tuesday: I rolled a 1 and then rolled the 12 sider which instructed me to head out to adventure #6 Taco Bell! YUM, I havent had anything from there in quite a while so Off I went down on foot to Maryland and Sahara which is about a 3 mile walk from my apt but I need to lose the extra weight and I am most likely going to be eating something unhealthy so why not do whatever I can do to make things better for myself?
I also walked home, I bought 3 Tacos which are 39Cents each right now and also a couple Tostadas without lettuce since I cant chew it very well....
Wenesday: I rolled a 3 so I stayed home but put $20 into envelope #1 ZIA so Now when Its time to go shopping I have an extra $20 to take with me and maybe can buy some good cds I am missing, of course even though I own a zillion books theres always a few more I can think of that I want to buy so I might go to Border's next time that instruction comes up.
Thursday: I rolled a 6 so I stayed home and mainly read about Unitarian Universalism and Wicca. I dont know why I am so drawn to that religion when I clearly believe that all religions have truth, wisdom and knowledge and I know that by choosing any one religion I would be boxing myself in-something that I have always avoided doing in all areas of my life, this would be like being abandoned on an island and being told I could only have one cd for the rest of my life, how could I choose just one artist when music is such a vital part of who I am?
I know I need to finish looking through the personals to see if I can find a gal friend and a future husband but I dont have the faith any longer that I will meet someone who can handle all of who I am.
Friday: I rolled a 3 so today was a day to put $20 into envelope #4 Tasha. I only have $20 altogether set aside for her and I am starting to have doubts because there are so many things I want to save for, so many goals and trips that I want to accomplish that I am starting to wonder if Tasha is all that important to me and then I remember that she has been pushed aside a thousand times for other things and maybe its time to focus a little bit of energy and money onto her and if I explore her and do not end up liking what I find, I can always sell everything and refocus my energies elsewhere!
Saturday: I rolled a 5 so that means stay home. I mainly slept, I was so tired today from the Las Vegas heat that the few moments when I was up, I watched a bit of Friday the 13th season 2 (The series) and then would fall asleep during the dull moments when Jack and Ryan were sitting around looking at the manifest.
Sunday: Went out with Mom as usual and we got into it, she started telling me that she doesnt want to hear my problems, I gave her the cancer and if I dont find something in my life to be positive about that she doesnt want to be around me, really, I think I am pretty positive considering that I dont have certain things that I want yet-I admit to being pretty frustrated most of the time, I want to be doing something-working, hanging out with a friend, going dicing to eat and travel on a regular basis, dating someone steadily and in better health and attending church on a full time basis but right now these are just dreams and fantasies and I hope that someday they will come to pass but so far they havent and so I admit yes I am negative and frustrated all of the time and I am quick to anger because I dont have a creative outlet to express these feelings to-Tim says I need counseling and Zoloft, lol, I dont know, maybe I do but right now I believe that the cure to these problems is not to medicate myself but to find solutions to why I am feeling the way I do!