I´ve always thought of partner and myself as an ordinary hetero couple, even if my attention often wandered to women. Perhaps we still are the ordinary couple, but things can suddenly change in unexpected ways, even for people of over sixty.

On Januari 1 of this year we were still drinking wine with a couple of neighbours when our neighbour put off her wig in the overheated room - she is still in transition. Rien, who is usually not very spontaneous put on her wig, and suddenly all three of us looked at him. Unasked for he said to me  "................................., but I´ll be the same partner to you." and I wondered what he had thought before the comma.

From that moment he started to experiment with make-up, tried to find women´s clothes that would fit him, he borrowed a wig and later bought one, and his average mood became really sunny. I helped him with his plans and we had great fun together.

When his padding and first set of clothes were complete he ventured outside, first with our neighbour, later with me or on his own, coming home with more clothes and completely happy.

With a breathtaking speed he reached the next step - after a little grumble about the job he sent a picture of his alter to all his colleagues and staff at his workplace. This led to some telephone talks and after that he went to his workplace as Luca.

Perhaps it´s time to ask, "What next?" but I just don´t know, I can see different possibilities from here but we´ll just have to wait and see how it all works out. Luckily I´m not afraid of change, and I know the bond between Rien/Luca and me won´t be broken. I enjoy this surprise of the year very much!

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Comment by Joan Denoo on July 20, 2017 at 2:19pm

I wish you and Luca the greatest happiness. It is a very nice photo; thanks for sharing. 

Comment by The Flying Atheist on July 20, 2017 at 1:51pm


Comment by Plinius on July 20, 2017 at 10:56am

Same old ring, same date, same love, new name.

Comment by The Flying Atheist on July 9, 2017 at 9:32am

I'm glad this is going well for you and Luca, Chris.  Great photo!  Thanks for the update.  

Comment by Plinius on July 9, 2017 at 3:10am

Seven months after Luca came out and we're already used to the changes and as comfortable with each other as always. We're both looking forward to contact with the genderclinic, but the waiting list is horrible - not before februari '18....

Comment by Plinius on May 12, 2017 at 4:29am

A meeting with transgenders' partners and/or family is very special. I was invited by the organization that hosts talk groups for transgenders, and everyone who had responded was quite shy at first. But once we began to share our stories the talk went on and on - not one story the same, and so many point of view. So we shared, talked, laughed and cried a little, and all took comfort from sharing. We were very aware of the people who don't visit such meetings, because they are the ones who refuse contact with transgenders. A pity - even for them, because they miss all the new found happiness of our loved ones. 

Comment by Grinning Cat on May 9, 2017 at 4:19pm


Comment by Joan Denoo on May 9, 2017 at 12:47pm

This is very good news, Plinius. I am interested in the process and progress. 

Comment by The Flying Atheist on May 9, 2017 at 12:27pm

Nice update.  Good to hear you're getting support where you need it.   

Comment by Plinius on May 9, 2017 at 11:10am

Another step. Luca went to the doctor's post to get a letter for the gender clinic in Amsterdam, but the doctor tried to discourage her - in the end it came out that the doctor couldn't get rid of old reli prejudices. So we went back together, to try again and I came along to play the spouse from hell if necessary. But our regular doctor - an Afghan muslim - told Luca how great she looked and started writing right away, only stopping to check how I felt about a trans partner. Very nice! And now there's a long waiting list for the gender clinic.... 



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