I´ve always thought of partner and myself as an ordinary hetero couple, even if my attention often wandered to women. Perhaps we still are the ordinary couple, but things can suddenly change in unexpected ways, even for people of over sixty.

On Januari 1 of this year we were still drinking wine with a couple of neighbours when our neighbour put off her wig in the overheated room - she is still in transition. Rien, who is usually not very spontaneous put on her wig, and suddenly all three of us looked at him. Unasked for he said to me  "................................., but I´ll be the same partner to you." and I wondered what he had thought before the comma.

From that moment he started to experiment with make-up, tried to find women´s clothes that would fit him, he borrowed a wig and later bought one, and his average mood became really sunny. I helped him with his plans and we had great fun together.

When his padding and first set of clothes were complete he ventured outside, first with our neighbour, later with me or on his own, coming home with more clothes and completely happy.

With a breathtaking speed he reached the next step - after a little grumble about the job he sent a picture of his alter to all his colleagues and staff at his workplace. This led to some telephone talks and after that he went to his workplace as Luca.

Perhaps it´s time to ask, "What next?" but I just don´t know, I can see different possibilities from here but we´ll just have to wait and see how it all works out. Luckily I´m not afraid of change, and I know the bond between Rien/Luca and me won´t be broken. I enjoy this surprise of the year very much!

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Comment by Plinius on February 28, 2017 at 1:10am

Thanks for your kind comments! Perhaps we learnt a lot from our neighbours, who are turning a same sex marriage into a hetero marriage.

I´ve always talked about Luca and me as partners - we married one day after many years together - and talking about ´husband and wife´after all those years sounds preposterous to me, like flaunting a wedding ring. I hate that sort of behaviour. But we do have rings, I´ve worn mine for about 35 years - the cheapest silver rings we could find.

   Luca is the one with the badge ´this is paradise´.

Comment by Joan Denoo on February 27, 2017 at 5:10pm

Chris, I just read your "Trans" story! You and Rien>now to be known as Luca, made this transition in remarkably fun and calm ways. I suppose there were and perhaps are some stressful moments and underlying those uncomfortable moments is a foundation of care, respect, and love that transcends gender. 

You always have referred to Luca as "partner" and if you wrote "husband" I don't remember it. 

I feel a real sense of calm and peace coming from you! You know I have always thought very highly of you and knew you to be a friend worthy of trust. This information only affirms my admiration and respect with which I hold you and your partner. 

Comment by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on February 27, 2017 at 4:31pm

Transitions should all be so easy. Congrats to Rien. Thanks for the warm fuzzy story.

Comment by The Flying Atheist on February 27, 2017 at 1:38pm

I'm a little late to the party here, Chris,  but "wow" that is quite a revelation.  What sticks out the most for me in what you wrote above is that Luca's mood changed to a more sunny disposition, which is really at the crux of discovering and coming to terms with one's true identity.  

It's often said there are two "coming out" events for each person in the LGBT community.  The first is coming out to yourself, and the second is coming out to everyone else.  You can be assured that the first is equally if not more difficult than the second, and can often take years or even half a lifetime.  Thus, this sort of self-acceptance and public announcement is never frivolous.  

I commend you for your willing support, as this is a huge change for both of you.  I hope it is equally rewarding. 

Comment by Plinius on February 21, 2017 at 10:56am

Thanks, Randall! And I thought that after almost forty years together Rien couldn´t surprise me!

Comment by Randall Smith on February 21, 2017 at 7:10am

Chris, I must admit I was taken aback at first with your "confession". But I have no problem with your decision. Life is short. Enjoy the experience.

Comment by Plinius on February 17, 2017 at 12:20am

Thanks for reading and your kind comments! I´m happy to use the freedom of atheism in saying, "It hurts no one and it makes you happy, so go on and enjoy yourself!"

Comment by Grinning Cat on February 16, 2017 at 6:36pm

There are all kinds of "ordinary couples"... it's great to see the love and support you and your partner have for each other!



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