This all started when I decided to write about what I’ve been doing this past week and my feelings about that subject. I haven’t come up with a new title, so this will have to do for now.

I’ve been to church. Two different ones in the past week. It’s brought up a lot of feelings about religion and why I am not religions. Also – why I won’t be religious any time soon. The first visit, last Sunday, was for a friend. Her daughter and mine are BFFs, and she’s been asking me to attend church with her and their family for a long while now. A’s BFF is in their handbell choir, so we agreed to go to hear her. That particular visit kind of…cemented for me why I left religion in the first place, and why I most likely won’t be going back.

The people I met were very friendly. Well, the women were. There were 3 older men (about my parents’ age) in the front of the room, all glaring at the audiencecongregation. The kids in the handbell choir were awesome, and I made it a point to tell BFF that before we left.

As we drove home, I told A about my parents and how religion affected them. About how Pap’s mother went ballistic when his brother married out of their faith. How I couldn’t ever remember my maternal grandparents ever speaking to my dad by choice. Hell, they wouldn’t even be in the same room alone with him. When my sister and I went to church, our parents dropped us off and picked us up. It didn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out why. Certainly not just for the free babysitting services an hour a week.

Then we decided to go to the local UU church for their Xmas Eve service. Um. Let’s just say we won’t be back there either.

I’m still considering going to the monthly Humanist meeting in a couple of weeks, but I don’t know. I think I really am done with religion all together. I miss the community that a church can have, especially for A, but it doesn’t seem to be worth all the rest that goes along. K will be going to the Secular Parents group out here and like it, dammit.

X-posted from Spyderkl

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Comment by LBGT Atheist/Secular Humanist on December 28, 2011 at 9:15pm

There are many other options to be part of a community other than church. For me, it's being active in my local PFLAG chapter, volunteering for needy women's causes, blogging on various sites and connecting with neighbors, yahoo groups and local classes etc. Churches train select members on how to find a visitor's 'soft spot' (weakness) and reel them in via guilt or a feeling of belonging... it's called marketing! Good for your being strong willed and free thinking.

Comment by Scott A. Hunt on December 27, 2011 at 1:51pm

@Earther, I started a discussion about this topic.


Comment by Earther on December 27, 2011 at 1:44pm

Karen, I am glad you are deciding to not attend a church.  I think we all need to find the community that actually shows respect for our choices and beliefs.  Did you know that Israel still segregates women to the back of the public buses?  I heard it the other day and my jaw dropped.  Standing up for who you are is very necessary.  You can find a community but it is not easy.

Comment by Earther on December 27, 2011 at 1:36pm

Scott, why do you think atheist are not as sociable?  I am not agreeing nor disagreeing.  I think part of the reason you may think this is because here we are able to have a community but in the world we do not see it.  Here we have at least one thing in common, that is we do not believe in a supernatural.  Everything else is still an issue:)

Comment by Idaho Spud on December 27, 2011 at 1:19pm

I miss the sociability of Mormonism, even though it wasn't much for a single adult in a church that highly stressed marriage and having a ton of kids.

I miss it, but will never go back, even for a family member's "special' day.  I will also never go to another church.  The irritation of hearing people seriously talk about God is just too much. 

As Scott A. Hunt said, I do wish atheist were more social.

Comment by Scott A. Hunt on December 27, 2011 at 12:01pm

 I miss the community that a church can have


I never really went to church much.  I do wish atheists were more social though.  I'm forcing myself to try and attend some of the various atheist/humanist/skeptic meetups around Denver in the near future.

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