I was talking with an atheist friend of mine last week and he asked a fantasy question. What I mean by a fantasy question is that the questioner is reasonably certain that the question will never come up in reality. It is like asking who you would pick for your all star football team or if you could cast the new movie coming out who would you pick. In reality, you would never be in a position to make those decisions and in some cases, a fantasy question might even allow for you to pick people living or dead.

In any case, the question my friend asked is what if we are wrong and there really is a god and it happened to be the God of the Bible. What would you say to God? While some people would take that opportunity to beg to get into the perfect paradise of Heaven and avoid the eternal torture of Hell, I am not one of those people. Socrates said to Crito that it is always better to receive an injustice than to do an injustice and I support that reasoning.

At first I thought it would be best to just tell God to go to Hell (ironically enough). Maybe even give God a lecture on morality or demand some sort of explanation from him for why he fucked with Humanity so much and why he is such an asshole. All those things would be fun, but to really answer this fantasy question in a serious manner, I would have to take my cue from Babylon 5.

God is often called God the Father and we are often called the Children of God in the Bible. So with that said, I would tell God that his children have grown up and we don’t need him any more (besides, he was a lousy parent anyway). It is time for God to get the Hell out of our lives. I would demand that God make one last appearance on Earth and not as some dude either. I want god to make the announcement that he is leaving us to our own lives to every human being on Earth at the same time. We would all hear God’s voice in our heads at the same time and know with certainty that it is “I Am.”

He would tell us that he was a bad parent and that we are adults now anyway. We don’t need him any more and are now free to forge our own destiny. No more Heaven. No more Hell. God is leaving the building.

Fantasy question time, “What would you tell God?”

Blogger's Note:
This is an older blog post that I made on Dangerous Talk on August 24th 2009. This is the full blog. If you would like to read what other people had to say feel free to check here.

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Comment by Roy The Infidel on February 3, 2010 at 8:12pm
I have asked a similar question (in the context of what will you do) in the forum section and the choices I provided were: a) Reason your way out; did not give you much evidence; b) Give him the finger; c) Fart in his presence; d) Kick his ass.

Frankly, he'd be stupid if he decided to face me. I am the kind of guy who will test his immortality. If I can kill him or it, great! Will I take his throne and be the new god if I killed him? NO. But, at least I've taken care of the sucker! God be damned!
Comment by Rusty Gunn. on February 3, 2010 at 6:57pm
I'd tell him I thought he was a real ass-hole for providing me with a father who was half crazy and a real ass-hole in his own right.
Comment by Pansy on February 3, 2010 at 4:15pm
i wouldn't waste my breath asking it anything; it should just be able to read my mind anyway, right?
Comment by ryan cameron on February 3, 2010 at 12:52pm
I'm with Tom on this one..the only thing I would do if suddenly standing before the "christian god" would be quiver in fear and anxiety, knowing he is utterly irrational, all powerful, violent, horrible, vengeful, abusive, genocidal, blood lusting, petty manic. I might say "dont hurt me" or "not in the face" or "ahhhh" kind of thing.
Comment by Tom Thompson on February 3, 2010 at 12:05pm
If the Christian God exists, I don't believe I would feel compelled to tell him anything at all. After all, he should already know shouldn't he?

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