Beats me.

Oh, well, yeah, I know.  But should I tell?  Mostly I've been running thither and yon, metaphorically speaking, and sinking into a morass of self pity and morose depression.  I have papers to prove it!  OK, not really, but sort'of.  I keep trying to shake off this damned sense of humor but it just won't go away.  I even quit taking my Happy Pills so freely give by the VA and the pissant thing sneaks up on me, like today.

I'm ok if I don't move.  If I take my Gabby and don't move.  Or don't move much.  I can move more in the morning than the evening.  No, I'm not making sense, am I?  Well, I've been suffering along getting progressively worse, a painful nerve problem you see, until I have become stuck in a chair far, far more than I like.  And I am bored entirely out of my skull so I decided to revisit this place just for the health of it.  Yeah, I mean health, because maybe somebody is on here now that might be a new and wonderful friend who is not bigoted or obsessed and who likes to talk and listen so we can take turns talking over each other and I can try to get a bit of my sanity back.  Or something like that.

Lufkin.  The bumper stickers say, "You'll Love Lufkin."  I say, horse shit.  I hate this place.  I want to LEAVE it yesterday.  Ahhh, but the family is here.  And they won't budge.  Of course I'm without wheels at the moment, since my beloved van's motor froze and cracked up in that nasty freeze a couple weeks back, but I'll soon be fixing that.  Who wants to run away to New Mexico with me?  Only half kidding about that.  

Oh, yeah, btw, I have sworn off crusading, starting 'groups', all that shit.  I no longer give a damn.  The world has gone to crap, religious people are going to crap it up more, and all I can do is try to keep as little crap off me as possible.  Yeah, cynic.  So, what can I say?  My back hurts too much and I'm too lonely and bored to worry about the world that really does not give a damn about itself, much less me.  Just so you know.

Not much else at the moment.  Except that, oh boy, I haven't given up on personal friendships.  Nope.  If I can only find a few.  The last time I had a real conversation (Besides with my psych that is!) was, um... er... two, three years ago.  No shit.  That long!

Hope all is well, life is good, and yadda yadda!


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