In the racial politics of the United States, I have been involved in a good portion of them that centered on the Civil Rights Movement. During that time, there was great solidarity among all African Americans, although at that time we were designated black or Afro American by the mysterious group that hands racial naming conventions.
There was a question that came up constantly during that time and, surprisingly, it persists today. I can't count the times this question came to me. “Do you prefer white women more than black women?” First, a black woman raised me. Secondly, I grew up in a neighborhood dominated by blacks, Mexicans and a small number of whites. Finally, like Perry Mason, I find the question “incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial.”
Nevertheless, I’ll answer it, but only as it refers to me. I have never been “color struck,” a term used in the black community to signify one that chooses a companion based on the color of their skin. Historically, instances of the phenomena demonstrated itself in various forms among African Americans. During the 40’s and 50’s, there were black sororities and fraternities that had unwritten rules regarding the “paper bag” test, meaning that anyone darker than a “paper bag” would not be accepted. It was also demonstrated among black men and women preferring lighter-skinned African Americans as opposed to the darker hues.
Of course, the ultimate disregard for blackness came almost exclusively with black men dating only white women, which was difficult in those days, but is common today. However, in today’s world of diversity, there are black men who date only white women.On the other hand, for black women, it is an unwritten taboo to date outside the race. Now, back to my dating preferences.
First, I prefer that that those I date be attracted to me for me just as I am attracted to them for the same reason. Second, no disrespect intended, all my dates must be female. Weight wise, I prefer athletic women within 30 pounds of my weight. Height? I have no limits, although I am aware that tall women usually like tall men. I’m 5’9” and women shorter than me told me that I wasn’t tall enough. For what? Now, on to the original question: “Do you prefer white women or black women?”
Growing up in a neighborhood dominated by African Americans and Latinos, it is easy to figure out who I dated. If I was partial, it was to what I considered good-looking girls (they weren’t women—yet). Dating white women in those days, was not only difficult, it could be dangerous. However, by the time I was forty–years-old, I turned out to be an “Equal Opportunity” dater. That’s an answer that doesn’t tell you a thing other than I like all women. So, let’s be a bit more specific.
As a qualifier, I’ll admit to liking all women that meet the rather non-specific physical requirements I listed above. So, at the risk of being an asshole (which I am), I’m going to fudge just a bit and list only those who I have dated most frequently. Obviously, African American and Latino women top my list simply because of where I grew up. Next, Asian women (Vietnamese, Korean, Malaysian, Philippine, Indian, etc.), white women and two aboriginal women from Australia fill out my dance card.
Although, I am married to a black woman, I could just as easily be married to any of the women I dated. Of the women I dated, the biggest problem I encountered was cultural, especially with Middle Easterners. The only women I would never date have character flaws I cannot tolerate like racist, sexist (yes, sexist), intolerance, ignorance and ass-holism. There are others, but you get the idea.
Finally, I imagine that of the women I dated, more than a few didn’t find me all that great either. As I said, I have a streak of ass hole in me also. No matter, when it comes to women, I am a connoisseur or just a sewer, depending upon your point of view.