X-posted from my Facebook Accout: Planned Parenthood, Abortion, and Me

I’ll begin my note this way, I’m pro-choice. Usually when I say that, I hear the whispers of “she’s pro-abortion” or that I want little kids dead. People who supposedly have known me for years naturally assume this, because I am not staunchly on the side of pro-life.

To be honest, I think both pro-life and pro-choice are misnomers, as is the term pro-abortion. No one I have met is actually “pro abortion”. Who is for the removal of a potential life? Who actually sits there and says “I think now is the perfect time to kill a growing baby.” ?.

Well, if you were to believe the hype, all feminists(feminazis they call us, HA!), nonbelievers, and folks who use birth control are pro dead baby.

And honestly, it’s frustrating to me. Because when I say “I am pro choice” I’m really saying “I’m pro-responsibility”. And when I say pro responsibility, I mean I am for doing what should have been done in the first place: use of birth control and condoms. But yet, a vocal minority says “You shouldn’t use that anyway, you should keep your legs closed until marriage.” Well, I have something to tell you vocal minority: The person who you’re currently telling to keep their legs closed? They are not you. And to tell someone what they “Should” do, in an unsoliciated comment, is akin to walking into a woman’s room and calling her a whore to her face.

Yes, I said that. When you sit there and tsk tsk someone for being sexually active AND using protection, you are telling this person “I know what is better for you because obviously you are too stupid to know.” And if you are even saying it in a “loving” fashion(I have YET to see this), it still comes off that way. Pushing your beliefs on someone, no matter how good your intentions are, is still manipulation. Why did I use the term manipulation? Because it is attempting to change someone with guilt, veiled comments and threats, and open contempt for something that is honestly no one’s business but the person who is doing the action, the person who they are doing said action with, and whatever deity that person believes in.

Not you. Not me. Not even my penguin Pablo. Because unless they offer you a seat in their boudoir, you shouldn’t be trying to refuse the sex they are having. What I mean is this: unless this person is married to you, underaged and related to you by either blood or work, or mentally deficient….leave them alone. Because no matter how you try to justify your actions, you are only pushing them away.

You aren’t “fighting the wicked system of debachery”, you’re being nosey. You are not” railing against sin”, you are telling people what to do when they did not even ask your permission. And when they rebuff your comment, as they will, do not sit there and call it persecution, throwing pearls before swine, or even knowing how Job in the bible felt.

It’s not persecution, they just didn’t like what you had to say. If it was persecution they would have either stoned you to death(not the fun kind) , thrown you to the lions, or nailed you to a cross. They would have went out of their way to make your life hell. Them ignoring your phone calls is not cause for alarm. They very well might be thinking on what you said. OR eating a sundae.

It’s not throwing pearls at swine because the person may honestly have their own belief set. Just because what you believe does not render them to tears does not mean they are brutish pigs. And let’s be honest, pigs are pretty awesome. You feed them an apple and they make bacon(the best food in the world). If you feed me an apple, all you are going to get is a roomful of gas.

You are not knowing how Job felt. Your piddly problem(someone disagreeing wiht you) is not even 1/10th of what he went through. What you are feeling is an emotion I’d like to call “wah-wah”. Daniel says it this way “You got your fweelwings hurt”. Your ego got bruised a bit, especially since they may have told you to sod off. Or told you in a nicer way reducing their relationship to a sex act is the most insulting thing you have ever done in their natural born life. And you HAVE done some pretty insulting things. I’d wish I could say they were wrong, but to be honest…i’d be lying. And we all know where lying gets you. In a room with some ugly chick in a blue dress.

This sentiment is even more so when it comes to the icky terrain of abortion. I myself would like to keep the abortions that I have to the number I currently have them. which is ZERO.

That being said, if something horrible happens to me(rape or I am informed my child has no brain stem) I want to be able to have that choice. Because I should not be forced, as a victim of rape, to carry a child to term. It would be unfair to me and both the child. I say unfair to me because whenever I look at that child, I would be reminded of how that kid was concieved. And to be honest, I don’t need ANY MORE REMINDERS. And I say unfair to the child, because let’s be very honest: the child would be black. And black children, sadly enough, have a lesser chance of being adopted or put into loving homes. They usually age out. Heck, any child in the system who is adopted into a loving home is literally a success story.

And each year that child spends in the system, the smaller their chances are.

That’s not fair or right to anyone.

If my child is going to die as soon as I have them, it would be a mercy to just abort now. I’ll give a real life example. I had a family member who was pregnant. As it is, according to a relative, the baby was going to be born without a brain. They did the scan and everything. Those family members in the medical profession said “you need to abort. The child is already dead.”

A cousin told her to keep the child, because God could have the child’s brain grow where there isn’t one.

The child was born. Head was sunken in from having no brain. I don’t know how my cousin felt, as that I was far away, but the story was relayed to me. I felt angry. Angry that my cousin sat there and said those words to my relative. Angry the brain did not grow. Angry at the fact that my relative was told to do sometihng in direct disreguard for the truth. After I moved past the anger,I was able to figure out what I wanted to do.

And what I wanted to do was be there from then on for women who are going through events that are like that or worse. And letting them know it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be angry, etc etc. Another thing that occured that day is that I realized pushing my beliefs on someone(I was very pro life) would have that very same effect on someone in a similar situation. So from that I became pro choice. Not because I wanted little children to die. I honestly think that if someone has the financial ability, the wits, and the emotional(and mental) capacity should parent.But if they do not want a child or do not want to ever have one, they should make the motions to make sure pregnancy doesn’t occur in the first place. That responsibility lies soley with them. But if they don’t, whatever they do is ultimately their descsion. And who am I to tell them that they are a murderer? Cause according to how a baby is concieved, they aren’t. If anything, they commited what some call a moral faux pas. I could get into the science of it and everything, but we’re all adults and we all know how to read.

That being said, this whole planned parenthood debacle is deplorable. I have friends who are very christian thinking of it as a victory and friends who are christian yet are a bit further on the left as a bad thing(the defunding).

And I agree. It is bad. Because, as I sadly have to inform you, planned parenthood is not a den of abortionists. It’s a group, that has real doctors nurses and the like. They even have counselors.

They are located in cities for the most part, and do a pretty good service. They campaign for cheaper, better birth control options for women. They give advice on abuse and rape. They give pap smears, at a better rate than most doctors. Some PP’s do abortions, but the one in my state just points you to where they are, if you want one. If I had to put their belief statement in a sentence it would be “You are the only person who is in charge of your sexual behavior. Take responsiblity. Get tested, get pap smears, or abstain.”

Yeah, I said it. They even promote abstainence. Not as the end all be all, but as something that should be done when sex crosses into the risky sectors(abusive lovers, cheating lovers, not sure about your relationship, etc). Sex, according to them, is something beautiful. It should be done safely and in the confines of a mutually respectful relationship. They aren’t given classes on how to be prostitutes. I should know. I’ve had to visit a PP in my lifetime.

I and a friend were both lapsed in our healthcare(we aged out of our parents) so we went to look for a cheaper place to get a pap smear. There was a city clinic, but it gave me a really really bad vibe. So we went to PP. I and my friend both got the info we needed, and went on our way. The price they offered wasn’t too bad. And the fact that they screened for STD’s was a bonus as that I could tell people I knew where to go. Not because I was running around with an STD at the time, but I knew people who were. And they were broke. So PP was the logical choice.

And now PP might be defunded, the one in Baton Rouge might close. And let me tell you, Baton Rouge needs all the help it can get. It’s number one in the nation for new HIV cases. Where are the new cases going to go? There are some groups in BR that help, but may prove too far. Or they might be filled to capacity. It goes on and on. Removing the funding is akin to telling poor people and folks with HIV/AIDS “You know what? I do not care about your situation. Tell someone else who cares.” It’s going to negatively affect us all, and that scares me. I don’t think I’m going to be raped anytime soon, but I do get worried on the pricing of birth control when I do move. I have PCOS, and let me tell you, the birth control is the best thing that has happened to me. So yeah, I might have a bit of a stake in this.

And yes, I know about PP’s beginnings. Yes the woman believed in eugenics. But you know who also did? Oh, a good freaking bit of the nation at the time so it shouldn’t come as a shock. That’s like being surprised there was slavery up north.

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Comment by Loren Miller on February 22, 2011 at 12:45pm

"Pro-responsibility" ... no shit, Sherlock!


Brava!  Excellent post!



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